Dear FedEx: This is not my signature.
I don't know to whom you gave my new macbook (for which I have been waiting patiently since July to get my bonus so I would have the disposable cash to buy). I can assure you they were not part of my household, they were not signing on my behalf, and honestly, I doubt they even know who I am.
I am assuming my macbook (which my mother instructed me to buy, in no uncertain terms) is in use by now, altering the MySpace page of some crappy person who signed for my package.
Sigh. F**Ex.
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